girl 1: so my health insurance is all messed up
girl 2: why? what happened?
girl 1: i don’t know. well i do know. HR kept sending me meeting invites about our cafeteria plan
girl 2: yeah? what does that have to do with anything?
girl 1: exactly. i was like “so we have a new cafeteria system for lunch. i’ll figure it out, i don’t need to go to the meeting”, so i didn’t go to any of the 3 meetings they scheduled. well it turns out, that was the meeting where they talked about our benefits.

situation: we ventured to the ace hardware a few blocks from our house to pick up a filter for our air conditioner. mid 40s woman approaches the store clerk.

clerk: need help with anything ma’am?
lady: yes. i’m looking for one of those saints. the ones that you bury upside down in your yard.
clerk: oh, st joseph?
lady: yeah, whoever it is. i don’t know his name, but i heard it works.
clerk: sure, they’re right over here.

i’m familiar with the burying saints upside down in your yard thing. but it never occurred to me where you’d go to get said saint. apparently, ace hardware is it. FYI.