i had an idea this afternoon for a new product. it would be called residon’t. it’s a clear coat that you put on things to prevent residue. kind of like teflon, but not so 1946-ish. speaking of which, given the non-stick nature of teflon, shouldn’t it really be called tefloff since the idea is for things to not stick and thus be off the teflon(off) covered product?

this idea made brian think of a new product as well. mildon’t. its a preventitive mildew product for your shower.

more ideas in another six months…

say you have a job interview, and your pants that go with your suit are missing, dirty or don’t fit anymore. you don’t want to have to buy a brand new pair of pants just for one interview…

say you are going “clubbing”. i’ve never been “clubbing” but i do know that you have to wear some fancy pants if you go clubbing. say i wanted to try it once (this is purely hypothetical) but i’m short on cash and can’t afford to buy a pair of designer pants…

that is why there needs to be a business called pant-a-LOAN-es. (minus the hyphens and my clever spelling change, that is the word for pants in spanish) at pant-a-LOAN-es you can essentially rent pants. nice pants. designer pants. then when you are done, just give them back and you’ve managed to adorn yourself with some fantastic pants, without breaking the bank.

i am definitely on to something with this one…

so, i just saw this the other day on my street and came up with a really creative solution. what if, and this is only a suggestion, but what if we took that upside down two that is serving as a five and switched it with that backwards five that is serving as a two? i know it sounds crazy, but i think its worth a shot.

the finnish line - a buffet restaurant specializing in finnish cuisine.

i would definitely eat there.

i was thinking today about how when a guy is going bald, the most acceptable thing to do is to shave the head, or go for a really short haircut. take brian for instance. he begins to lose his hair, then just takes a bic to it to avoid any further mental anguish. he knew the hair was going to fall out, so he was proactive and just ended it early.

i wonder if this same rule applies to women? for instance, its inevitable that at some point as a woman ages, she will start to wear seasonal holiday clothing. the only exception is school teachers and people who work in medical offices or churches, they start wearing seasonal holiday clothing much earlier. pastors’ wives are some of the biggest offenders. they might start as early as 25 or 30. you know what i’m talking about. those vests. the ones with cornucopias and turkeys, candy canes and snowmen, clovers, hearts or stars and stripes on them. its like a box of lucky charms shapes embroidered on background of crocheted, oversized goodness. its going to happen to all of us at some point. we’re going to start wearing those vests.

so doesn’t that mean that we should just start wearing seasonal/holiday vests now in order to lessen the pain and mental anguish that we’ll experience later in life when we look into a closet filled with these sleeveless, gold-buttoned gems and wonder “when did it become ok for me to wear this kind of apparel?”.

i’m considering stocking up on holiday vests and wearing them on the appropriate holidays. i mean, i’d be classy about it and everything - i’d definitely match each holiday vest up with the corresponding holiday turtleneck covered in holly berries or leaves, or maybe with just one solitary leprechaun embroidered on the neck. i told brian about my plan and how i wanted to be ‘that person’…the ‘one who wears the vests’ and he said i need to figure out something else to be besides ‘that person’. i mean, if you have a better idea, let me know, but i’m leaning towards being the vest person.

a buffet-style restaurant that specializes in soups, stews, beans…anything that is cooked in a crock pot.

how is it even possible that i’m not a millionaire by now?

i can’t even believe how good of an idea this is. hopefully an investor will stumble upon this little gem and help me get things started.

in case you weren’t aware, brian and i have many million dollar ideas/product lines. we think its a disgrace that we haven’t shared them with the general public yet. we’ve determined that we’ll never act on any of them. feel free to use the names and make the products yourself, we just ask for a small portion of the income that you generate. or maybe a large portion.

breakfestivities: this would be a line of cereals. each box would contain some carnival tickets that you could save and redeem for carnival prizes. “moms, having trouble getting your kids out of bed in the morning? they’ll be excited to jump out of bed when the breakfestivities begin”

lubri-can: its just wd40 in a nice package. “if lubricant can’t get the job done, lubri-can can.”

pastabilities: a just add water side dish. “imagine the pastabilities”

ab-original: a new ab machine “ever wonder how those aborigines keep those rock hard bodies looking good? with the ab-original of course”

a latte to talk about: this is a coffee shop with a homey feel that welcomes customers to sit around and talk for a while. that’s right, its just like every other coffee shop in america. “have a lot to talk about? head over to a latte to talk about”

correctum: cream for your ‘roids. “got itching, burning hemorrhoids? correct ‘em with correctum”

well, that’s about it. we like to think that instead of just one million dollar idea, we have been blessed with 10 one hundred thousand dollar ideas. or maybe its 100 ten thousand dollar ideas.