until you’ve spent some time with aunt shirley, you can’t fully understand her brand of comedy (which she, of course, does not realize is comedic at all). once you’ve met her, it all makes sense. or perhaps ceases to make sense…

anyway, we were at the wedding reception this weekend and sat at a table with aunt shirley, the mother of the bride, for a while. she told us a story, about ten minutes long, about how she called up my mom one day to see if she wanted to travel to the west side of erie to go to big lots and find a stellar deal on something. my mom agreed, but said she’d have to drive separately because she was getting groceries after the big lots shopping extravaganza.

aunt shirley followed my mom to west erie. keep in mind aunt shirley has lived in this town all 58 years of her life. after shopping, she made a wrong turn out of the parking lot. below is the chaos that ensued:

mile 20 is roughly the shopping center. instead of going east (back to our town, named NORTH EAST), she went west. after 10 miles this did not seem right, so she stopped in a gas station in girard and said “is this erie?” they told her to go south and get on I-90. she went south, but apparently missed I-90. after another 40 miles, she decides to stop and ask again (plus she is low on gas and needs to use the rest room). she goes in and asks “is this erie?” keep in mind, she has found herself 1/3 of the way to pittsburgh at this point. they tell her to get on 79 NORTH and then take 90 EAST to get to NORTH EAST. she takes 79 north, but misses 90 east and has to drive home through the city. except that she’s not sure she’s in the right city so she stops again, on 26th street to ask if she was in erie again. here’s an analogy for you
nashville : broadway, west end, hillsboro :: erie : state, peach, 26th
26th street is not a small street. its one of the main streets that runs through erie. 26th street takes you to the AIRPORT - and she still had to ask if she was in the right city.

i just don’t understand how you can get lost in this part of the country. as long as you are in the right state, go north until you get to the lake, and then turn RIGHT. that is it. works every single time. i suggested this and my suggestion was received with a glazed over stare. we’ll blame the iced tea that we spiked and then gave to her…

what follows is the last minute or so in which shirley recapped her adventure and i realized (10 minutes too late) that i had a video camera

also, all of you erieites need to check out five french fusion restaurant (website coming soon!) next time you want a really great meal. its in north east, connected to presque isle winery on route 20. just make sure you don’t get lost on the way