i was thinking today about how when a guy is going bald, the most acceptable thing to do is to shave the head, or go for a really short haircut. take brian for instance. he begins to lose his hair, then just takes a bic to it to avoid any further mental anguish. he knew the hair was going to fall out, so he was proactive and just ended it early.

i wonder if this same rule applies to women? for instance, its inevitable that at some point as a woman ages, she will start to wear seasonal holiday clothing. the only exception is school teachers and people who work in medical offices or churches, they start wearing seasonal holiday clothing much earlier. pastors’ wives are some of the biggest offenders. they might start as early as 25 or 30. you know what i’m talking about. those vests. the ones with cornucopias and turkeys, candy canes and snowmen, clovers, hearts or stars and stripes on them. its like a box of lucky charms shapes embroidered on background of crocheted, oversized goodness. its going to happen to all of us at some point. we’re going to start wearing those vests.

so doesn’t that mean that we should just start wearing seasonal/holiday vests now in order to lessen the pain and mental anguish that we’ll experience later in life when we look into a closet filled with these sleeveless, gold-buttoned gems and wonder “when did it become ok for me to wear this kind of apparel?”.

i’m considering stocking up on holiday vests and wearing them on the appropriate holidays. i mean, i’d be classy about it and everything - i’d definitely match each holiday vest up with the corresponding holiday turtleneck covered in holly berries or leaves, or maybe with just one solitary leprechaun embroidered on the neck. i told brian about my plan and how i wanted to be ‘that person’…the ‘one who wears the vests’ and he said i need to figure out something else to be besides ‘that person’. i mean, if you have a better idea, let me know, but i’m leaning towards being the vest person.